The Early Months

Being pregnant is a strange thing.

Mark and I have been married for 8 years so we’d certainly waited long enough. I’m sure the folks and in-laws were wondering what the deal was. We felt ready and we wanted a baby.

Then it happens. And, at least for me, you find yourself thinking… ‘Are we sure?’ ‘Is this really what we wanted?’

I did what most gals do and I waited through the first trimester before we told any non-family members. I didn’t like it. I didn’t like ‘keeping a secret.’ It strangely felt like I was hiding something bad – when really it was great news.

Then I went through a phase where I was just sure every parent out there had formed a secret union and they tried to ‘lure’ unsuspecting childless-folks-with-freedom over to the ‘dark’ side. Isn’t that awful? I just had these pseudo-panic attacks that our lives would essentially be over. I’d lose my friends, not be able to do shows ever again and we’d be broke. (And granted, a lot of that may happen, but at least the anxiety has passed.)

Finally, I started telling people. As I watched faces light up with the news, heard squeals, clasped hands, shrieks and hugs I started to feel much more at ease. I liked being able to tell people!! It finally felt more real, and I might even hang on to a friend or two!

I’ve been told and I’ve read that all these feelings are very normal for expecting parents. Even parents who’ve tried for years and years will go through phases of anxiety, moments of regret and general uneasiness.

Today and for months now, I’ve been pretty happy about the whole thing. I’m lucky that I’ve felt great; Lucky that Mark is excited; and lucky that my little girl will already have little girl cousins her same age. But mostly I’m lucky that I have lots of family around to help me while I figure this stuff out.