Building The Room

So the Mursery (or Nursic room… still deciding) is slowly coming together. We’re calling it that because after KOSY let me go, we weren’t able to buy the house we wanted and our little girl will be forced to share with the piano and my music room. There are worse set-ups. Besides, every little kid should have to share a room at some point, right? Builds character! My older sis tells me I might really like the piano in there during meltdowns.

Mark worked hard all weekend putting the crib and changing table together. Of course we bought the one crib that didn’t come with its wheels. When I was choosing a crib, that was the ONE feature I really wanted – wheels. Sis said she loved that she could just pull her crib away from the wall easily to change sheets and pick up fallen toys. Brilliant assessment, I thought. Mine didn’t have its wheels. So, they’re on order. The rest of the crib is finished.

As is the changing table – which was as easier task to put together. My job was basically to keep Mark company. I didn’t want to get in the way and frankly, I don’t think he wanted me involved too much… I tend to not pay as close attention to things as furniture building requires. So, I made a treat and Ging and I kept him company.

Now, we’re just moving in. I’ve assessed the items we have versus those we need and I’ll spend this week trying to even that out. I’ve washed and put the sheets on the bed – we’re doing an ocean/beach theme… I guess. I don’t know. I’m not much of a decorator so it’s been a challenge. My two older sisters have such cute nurseries. I’ve already apologized to my little girl that her room won’t be as cute as her cousins. More than that, I’ve apologized that she may inherit my decorating skills (or lack thereof.)

I’ll keep posting pictures as the mursery develops. Keep checking back!

As always, I’d love your thoughts:
Showtune.erica@Hotmail.com

Baby Thoughts And Baby Comments

I'm very happy to report that the baby nursery should be mostly put together this weekend! Finally, huh? I know we've waited a while (since we're less than 2 weeks away) but I've been holding out hope for a house (which just isn't possible now... thanks to KOSY firing me... but enough about that!)

We had the carpets cleaned today, cleared out the remaining furniture in my music room and it'll now be a music room/nursery. A Musery perhaps?.... Or how about a Nursic room? Something like that. We're putting together the crib and changing-table on Friday and hopefully picking up the rest of the last-minute things this weekend. I'm hoping it'll all goes as smoothly as it is in my head (no laughing please...) Stay tuned for pics! I guess we're 'nesting' but I've never liked that term. How come when we women prepare for the arrival of our new family member we're 'nesting'.... as though under the trance of an uncontrollable force? But men are just building cribs or 'getting ready?' I don't get it.

Anyway...

I went to dinner with a girlfriend a night ago. She just had a beautiful baby boy 3 months ago. I don't know if you have kids, but while pregnant, I find I pay EXTREME attention to things parents say about being parents. I don't know... I suppose I'm hoping for reassurance that I'm doing the right thing.

Imagine my delight when I said “So, do you love it?” Her eyes immediately well up with tears, “Oh my gosh... it sounds so cliché, but I don't even know how I lived without this much love in my heart. He's the most amazing thing. I just... I just look at him and sometimes want to cry just because I don't know how I got so lucky. I'm so lucky... he's so amazing.” Ahhh... now THAT'S what an expectant mom wants to hear.

“Your life's gonna change!” NOT what an expectant mom wants to hear. Though I know it's remarkably true, that's not what we want to hear, and certainly not with that tone of voice that the changing is for the worse.

“There's nothing like walking in the door and hearing little voices shout Mommy or Daddy. There's nothing like that!” Yes.... good comment.

“Get your sleep in now!” Negative and not a good comment.

“They're all that matter. Your children are really all that matter when you get to the end of this life. It doesn't matter how much stuff you had... your kids and family. That's what matters.” See how nice that is?

“What about all the trips you like to take?!?!” Mmm.... good point, but NOT a good comment.

“Ahh... You'll LOVE it!! You'll LOVE it!!! They just tickle you pink ALL the time!” Very good comment.

It was the same when I announced I was pregnant. The comments ran the gamut from “CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!” in shrieks, squeals, and giggles – which I liked. To “Oh good, now you're going to be fat!” WHAT?!? Who says that?!

Or what about “Why didn't you tell me last week?” Umm... thanks for your excitement.

A much better option: “It's the best thing I ever did. Of all the things in my life I regretted, my kids were always the ONE thing I felt really good about and never doubted.” Nice one!

So, I've been surprised at the responses.

I know that kids are a challenge. We're certainly not naive enough to think it'll always be a walk in the park. But I've learned something: When someone is sharing news that is exciting to them, be excited FOR them. It makes you much more fun to talk to and it's much more meaningful to hear.

Whether it's a new marriage, a new job or a new life... certainly we can all come up with SOMETHING positive to say...
Can't we?... please?...
Sometimes we need a little reassurance.

Looking Pregnant

The one good thing about Babies R Us is the fact that if you’re curious if someone is pregnant, the odds increase significantly that she is… since she’s in there shopping for baby stuff.

Most of us are terrified of ever saying anything to anyone about being pregnant. You just can never be too sure and what if… just WHAT IF she isn’t?! Then you’re stuck being the jerk for implying the gal had a big ol’ belly.

But when you are pregnant, you go around thinking ‘I wish I looked a little more pregnant… I just look heavy.’ You can see people looking at your bulging middle and you know they’re wondering, but everyone is too afraid to say anything. So they give a meek smile and walk on.

It wasn’t until I was about 7 ½ months that a stranger said anything to me. Even now at 8 ½ months I’ve only had two random people say anything to me. The first happened as I was pulling into a parking lot. The attendant said he’d give me the closer spot since he didn’t want me “walking too far” and he patted his belly. I was taken aback, and delighted and surprised that he’d say that. I mean, I was sitting in my car – ‘Surely I can’t look THAT pregnant?’ (See? We pregos are impossible to please.) Actually, I was really happy that I actually looked pregnant. I’d always heard that people are nicer to you when they see you’re pregnant, but up until then – I hadn’t experienced it.

Just a week or so ago I walked down to get the mail and Ginger trotted off towards my neighbor’s open garage (she LOVES garages… oddly enough). He lives a ways down the street and we don’t talk a lot, mostly wave. He and his wife were outside and he asked when the ‘little one’ was due and he gestured towards my belly. His wife looked at him a little horrified waiting for the scary moment. I smiled and told them in 3 weeks (his wife seemed quite relieved!)

So here we are… I don’t know what the answer is. I know that I NEVER ask a woman about being pregnant – EVER!!! I remember a substitute teacher in high school who absolutely looked 8 months along. Guess what? She wasn’t pregnant – she just gained all her weight out front like a basketball. I learned then that you can never be too sure. So then I ask you, how tacky is it to wear a shirt that says “Pregnant. Not fat.” Or just “Pregnant” or “Baby Bulge” It sure would help some of us out!

Rockin' and Rollin'

{{Mark and I did our entries independently of one another… it may make you chuckle how similar they are!}}

I’m 36 weeks along now – roughly 8 months… 4 weeks left (if she shows up on time).

One of the first questions asked is whether or not I feel her moving, my answer “All the time.” But that doesn’t sound as much fun as it is.

I remember, early on in the pregnancy, looking forward to what it would feel like – to feel something inside of me moving. Then, sometime in the summer, I lied in bed one night and thought “was that it?” I lied there without moving, breathless, waiting to feel her again, which is usually precisely when she’d stop moving. I didn’t realize that would be a trend to continue for the next several months. For the next week or so, I’d hurry to get ready for bed and look forward to those few moments of quiet, when I wasn’t moving, and the sounds of the day drifted away and I’d wait for her. Wait to feel some sign that she’s still in there.

I told my sister “I think I feel her moving – I think that’s her, anyway.” My brother-in-law promptly told me that it “could be gas” which is EXACTLY what an expectant mom DOESN’T want to here when she thinks she’s felt her baby for the fist time. Though all the books I’ve read have said the same thing. Very unromantic, isn’t it? That the first time you feel your baby it may be gas?... yikes.

Either way, you eventually come to the moment you KNOW what you’re feeling is your baby – which is really amazing. Little kicks and jabs here and there, mostly at night or any time you’re resting. Then one day, she decided to let me know she’s up and about during the middle of the day. I was talking to someone, at work perhaps, and feeling all this movement inside. It’s funny that no one else could tell when the movement felt so massive to me.

There was one time I went to a baby shower at work at 11am for another gal (who just had a beautiful baby boy). That’s when our baby started really moving. She moved through that entire baby shower which was the first prolonged movement I’d felt from her.

There have been nights when she’s hardly moved at all (highly disappointing) and a few times her movements were so abrupt I flinched and even yelped once. I’ve had nights when I thought I’d never be able to fall asleep because she was squirming so much and then I’d have nights when I’d think “If she doesn’t move soon I’m not going to be able to fall asleep!” It’s very reassuring to feel that steady movement. What I really enjoy is that she seems to move a lot when I see a musical. Every time that music starts up she starts jamming. I, of course, think that means she’ll love music as much as I do. Mark likes to tease me and says the movement means she hates it. Of course, when we watched a basketball movie, I’m sure you know what her movement meant then!

Now, it’s all the time, unless I draw Mark’s attention to it… then she stops – which is highly annoying, by the way. It’s still most pronounced when I’m lying down. The movement can make me giggle and make me flinch. Sometimes she’s moving so internally the only thing I can feel is extra pressure on my bladder or on some other inner organ I can’t identify. And then there are times I lift my shirt up and watch the most amazing rolling, moving, bulging, jiggling I’ve ever seen. It’s just fascinating.

I like to feel around and find the harder spots and try to figure out what it is… the head, the bottom, the foot. Mark thinks I’m too rough in poking around but I think she’s pretty well padded and it lets her know that she’s loved! Today if I press my hand against those spots, eventually, she’ll push back.

It is truly a rare experience… and a treat!

The Big Birthing Class

So we went to our birthing class. Mark was wonderful about it. I’ve heard of many husbands who aren’t interested in going to the class or would rather avoid it. But, if you think about it, it’s almost MORE for the dad than us moms. At least in our house, I’ve been doing far more reading on the whole process than Mark - and I think it’s good for all of us to actually SEE what’s coming up and some possible variations of said task-at-hand.

At any rate, we practiced some breathing, we were taught some pressure points for the dads to use on us during contractions, and we got a tour of the hospital. During the breathing phase, one of the couples actually went into labor!! She suddenly seemed to be taking this whole practicing thing VERY seriously and we realized a little while later than she was actually having contractions. Yikes! I guess that’s a pretty good place to start all that though.

All in all, I would recommend a birthing class to any first-time parents. I know a lot of people would argue that ignorance is bliss and the less you know about it the better – but I think it’s nice for both parents to have some idea of what they’re in for.

I’ll tell you what – it doesn’t look fun. Doesn’t look fun at all! But every single time we got to the end of another video and I saw those parents look at their sweet baby for the first time; I darned-near started bawling right along with them. Every time. What an amazing moment to experience! THAT part, I’m looking forward to (plus the other stuff is all over at that point!)

In other news, I’m worried my belly button is going to pop out (this is NOT a picture of my belly, by the way). It sounds quite silly I know. But I always thought my belly button was pretty deep, and cavernous and seemed to have quite a bit of room for the expansion – I was happy that it would remain an ‘innie.’ Turns out, that may not be the case. The right side of my belly button is starting to move outward! I stand in the front of the mirror and practice different postures and stances to see which minimizes and maximizes it. Mark is right, it doesn’t matter and no one cares. I’ve certainly seen many women walk around with their navel pressing against their shirt and I’ve thought nothing of it. I guess I’m just resisting the change.

So, I’m back on the baby blogging bandwagon and I hope you’ll keep checking back. I’m also going to make sure that Mark gets it into gear to and keeps writing down his thoughts.

Thank you so much for your well-wishes. Please feel free to e-mail any time (I LOVE getting e-mails) at showtune.erica@hotmail.com

Elastic Waistbands

The first time I tried on elastic waistband pants, I giggled. It was Sunday morning, Mark was still in bed and I thought it was time to venture into the world of maternity clothing and it felt really funny. A cross between a little kid and an old lady. Quite silly.

Plus, at least for me, my belly still wasn’t quite big enough. I mean, it was big enough to boot me out of my favorite low-rise, boot-cut jeans. But not quite big enough to keep the maternity pants up. Quite a dilemma. My sis talked about the same problem. The first time she wore her maternity pants, she and her hub went out to eat. As she stood to leave, she had to hold the waistband up so the pants wouldn’t fall down.

I’ve mostly learned to embrace the elastic waistband now. Of course, that could be from lack of better options. But they’re quite comfy and will come in handy during Thanksgiving. There are no buttons and zippers to worry about, which is a nice time-saver during those pressing bathroom runs (which are now FAR more frequent than I’d like.) And most of them ten to have a bit of stretch in them…which is also nice.

Now the worst problem is I still can’t keep them up! Who needs low-rise maternity jeans anyway? Not me. I just want pants that stay up on their own and don’t require constant tugging and pulling. No fun! Perhaps I’m alone on this, but – especially now – I don’t enjoy having any part of me flashed to my coworkers while I go about my business.

So I’ve learned I’m a full-panel girl. Did you know there are at least 4-5 different kinds of maternity pants now? Yep, and I’m a full-panel girl. The elastic panel comes up over my growing belly (which I’ve heard is wonderful even after you have the kid) and it gives the pants something to hold on to – which means… I don’t have to!

The Registry

So, Mark and I registered…. Sort of. We sort of registered. I mostly walked around feeling entirely out of my element and completely unsure of myself. Though Mark seemed fairly secure in what he was doing with the scanner gun.

The gal at the registry desk was very helpful, gave us a starters list, showed us the color-coded map and sent us on our way.

How daunting.

How do I know what I need? Yes, most stores provide a ‘getting started’ list but that seemed to be as long as my leg and I’m skeptical that I really need ALL of that to get started. Or do I?

Where’s my mom when you need her? Where are my sisters? I registered first for the things I know my sisters’ loved: The crib Aquarium, the Boppy, and the jumpy seat. Other than that… I’m lost.

So, I figured we should tackle the stroller/car seat while we were fresh. We pulled the strollers out, fumbled with how to open them, close them, attach and detach the car seat part – quite cumbersome for two novices. But I sure enjoyed watching Mark proudly push the empty strollers around as he tested their sturdiness. This is going to be a fun new side of Mark to observe.

Anyway, Mark’s strategy soon became - scan all three strollers we like, that way we can research them online. Then I start to worry that someone is going to pull up our registry and think “Why on earth do they think they need 3 strollers?!?!”

We muddled through the bedding, tested the ‘play yards’ (though Mark scoffed at the name… he’s right, playpen is MUCH more accurate) stared at the ‘safety’ section and were happy any time we were able to pass on a section that didn’t apply to us.

My question, why aren’t there any cute little girl things with dogs on them? The little boys all have dog themes – little bones, little dog-houses, dog faces on towels, shirts and onesies. Little girls do not. Why can’t a little girl like dogs too? So we did register for a pack of washcloths that are blue with the above mentioned little dog things. Mark didn’t seem to share my worry that people would think we were stupid.

So, we have some semblance of a registry put together… I think. I’ve solicited the help of other new moms to see what they had that they couldn’t live without and what the registered for that they’ll never use.

If you think of something, please let me know!